Finding yourself and defining your happy

A forward:

I would love to introduce to everyone an extremely strong women, with a heart of gold… Simple Flores. The word Happy describes Simple to a tee. The first time I met Simple I was instantly drawn to her. My fiance would tell me stories of how amazing, kind and hilarious she was, and after first meeting her, I got it! She is just one of those people that everyone loves!  And I am so lucky to call her one of my best friends! I am so excited and honored for Simple to be sharing her story for everyone to read. Even the happiest people in the world can be knocked down. Read on to see how one of the Happiest people I know brought herself out of a very dark time in her life, and became an even happier (if that was even possible!) person! Thank you Simple for sharing with us your Purple Life hack <3  

This past summer was one of the most trying times of my adult life. A 5.5 year relationship came to a sudden end, due to irreparable circumstances. At which point  I felt like my life had turned completely upside down—I had just purchased my first home  a couple months prior. I suddenly moved to a different state. I had my dog (I’m a flight attendant and I’m gone a lot, the main downfall of my job is that we cannot have pets while living alone..). And all my stuff ended up in a storage unit.

Now I’d be lying if I said everything was fine at that point. It wasn’t. I felt completely helpless and constantly overwhelmed. My only saving grace was telling myself that it’s okay to not be okay. I didn’t strive for perfection, nor did I pretend that I was fine. I embraced all the hurt and tears and feelings. I accepted and at time reached out and asked for help. This is something a lot of people don’t think to do—they get shy and hide, as if perfection is the only thing acceptable. 

The only way to be okay when it comes to life-shifting events is to dive right in, realize something is wrong, and do your darnedest to fix it. And if you can’t fix it alone, then don’t—seek help. For me, my summer wasn’t pretty. To be honest, it was hard to eat, sleep, keep a dry face, and go to work. I kept reminding myself it wasn’t permanent, and all I had to do was get through it until the sun began to shine again. I eliminated any stresses I had control over. At the time of my breakup I was three short weeks out from my competition date. After almost 6 months of prep—the most tuned in diet and workout combo I’ve ever put my body through—I decided to call it quits because i knew my emotional and overall well-being had to be prioritized. From there I reached out to my best friends, I used the resources available through my job, and I took my time. 

After many sleepless nights and lots of donuts (lol) I finally got to a point where things didn’t seem so gray. With some help from my friends I found ways to step out of my comfort zone and “put myself back out there.” I’ve never been the type to jump back into a relationship shortly after one ends. But at that point, everything i thought I knew about my life and relationships were gone. I tried doing things “the right way” — date someone for a while, move in, share a pet, buy a house, etc — and that didn’t exactly go my way, so I said why not??

Fast forward to about 5-6 months after my life turned upside down, I met someone. When we met I didn’t hold anything back, i told myself to just be present and honest… and what do you know—we fell in love. Hard and fast. A month (TO THE DATE) after we first met in person, we got married. YUP. MARRIED. Some would say that’s crazy and honestly yea, it sure seems like it. But I’ve never been so happy. And it’s not the temporary fleeting type of high-happy. This feels real. When my husband and I first met, I had told myself that I wouldn’t put on any filters. Naturally when we first meet people, it’s almost like we try and present our best, most polished self. It’s not lying…but I feel like it’s not always completely true. When my husband and I met, I literally told him my trainwreck of a summer that I had been working to recover from. For once, I wasn’t shy…it just was, what it was. He surprisingly, wasn’t scared off by it either.

My point in all of this is, in order to truly find yourself, you first need to make sure you’re honest with yourself. Don’t just present the good and the “filtered” parts…but also the gritty, unpretty, and messy parts. It’s not about appearing strong by doing everything yourself, sometimes we do need help…and that’s okay. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s being aware of yourself enough to know that if you can’t do it yourself, so find someone who can. I thought I was happy and true with myself before, but it wasn’t until I allowed myself to embrace the mess that was my present that i truly felt free. They say happiness isn’t a destination, it’s a journey. It’s not a state that you suddenly arrive at, it’s the day to day boring things that we eventually look back on and think “I was so happy then…” For me, defining my happiness is understanding that it’s a process, and everyday I do my best to consciously embrace every experience and be present. I don’t want to have to think of what already happened to realize I was happy—but rather see the sunshine in everything that’s happening AS it’s happening. 🙂

If you would like to check out Simples adventures through life make sure to check out her social media pages:
Instagram: @SimpleSays
Twitter: @SimpleSays

I hope you all enjoyed <3

Gabby xo

And we all live healthy and happily ever after <3


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